I love sports, but I get really annoyed at some of the things going on in sports today. I know I am not alone. Whether it be the antics of certain players or the nonsense put forth by the sports media, there is never a shortage of things to annoy dedicated fans. This week the America Loves Countdown® series presents ten of those annoyances.

Guarantees
The fact that Joe Namath said the Jets were going to win Super Bowl III does not give every athlete the right to attempt to fire up his team or its fans by predicting a win. Let me tell you something about sports: every player who has even an ounce of competitiveness thinks they are going to win the next game. That is what makes them compete in the first place, and it is what makes the more talented ones into superstars. So there is really no reason to proclaim to the world that you think your team is going to win, plus it makes you look like the biggest bonehead on the planet when your prediction falls flat. Just keep your mouth shut and let your play do the talking.

Mixing Sports with Political Correctness
If a girl like Michele Wie wants to try to qualify for the US Open, then more power to her, but don’t make it into some women’s rights story. If Michael Robinson (Penn State sucks) is being projected as a receiver in the NFL, then maybe it’s because he is not that good of a QB, not because he is a black QB. Most of America has grown tired of this kind of stuff in general, and no one really needs it in the sports world.

Athletes Who Commit Crimes
It seems like every week someone is getting arrested for something. No matter how many times it happens, it never ceases to baffle me. These guys make millions of dollars. They live the good life. The least they could do to serve as role models for kids is to stay out of trouble once they are in the spotlight. There is no reason to drive around drunk or to deal drugs or to stab people or to do any of the other activities routinely participated in by the Baltimore Ravens.

Ignorant Fans
If you are going to attend a sporting event and yell things at the players/coaches, at least have the decency to equip yourself with a little bit of knowledge on what you’re watching. I sat at the Steelers-Jets playoff game in 2004 listening for hours to the guy behind me scream at Bill Cowher to “put it up” (i.e. throw a pass) on every offensive down. Nevermind the fact that the Steelers had the best rushing attack in football that year. Nevermind the fact that running the football had given them their best record in team history. Nevermind the fact that they were starting an obviously nervous rookie at quarterback or that he would later almost lose the game by “putting it up” into the wrong hands. The guy wasn’t satisfied unless there was a pass on every play. Ugh….

Joe Paterno
Someone I know had a theory that JoePa is like James Bond – whenever he gets too old for the part, they replace him with someone else who looks similar and portrays the same characteristics. That would be the only explanation for the fact that the guy has been coaching Penn State for going on 137 years now. I can’t tell you how sickening it is to hear his nonsense year after year after year after year. Whether he is whining about the refs, playing up Central North Dakota State (or whoever is on Penn State’s schedule of easily beatable non-conference teams), or going on some insane rant (which are more frequent these days), it just wears down those of us who have had to listen to it for our entire lives while the local media worships every word.

Overemphasis on the NFL Pre-Season
It drives me nuts every August when people treat meaningless pre-season games as if they have some kind of effect on how the upcoming season will unfold. My personal favorites for over-hyped pre-season stories: when the 1998 Baltimore Ravens were touted as being the team to beat in the AFC Central because they had an “undefeated” pre-season, only to get thumped by a bad Steelers team in week 1 of the real season; when the 2002 Washington Redskins, led by new offensive “wizard” Steve Spurrier, set a “pre-season record” for most points scored, as if anyone actually kept track of such things; when the 2005 Pittsburgh Steelers’ offense struggled through the pre-season, prompting calls for the benching of QB Ben Roethlisberger (the Steelers of course would go on to win the Super Bowl that year behind Roethlisberger).

The “the” Ohio State Nonsense
This is just so blatantly annoying. Is it really necessary to call their stupid football team “The Ohio State Buckeyes”? Doesn’t everyone understand now that Ohio and Ohio State are two different schools? Do the people in Columbus honestly think this is funny or hip? This one extends way beyond sports. I was at the hospital there last year and the signs all said “The Ohio State University Medical Center”. I guess I ate at “The Ohio State Cafeteria” and paid a visit to “The Ohio State Public Restroom” before I left via “The Ohio State Elevator” and paid “The Ohio State Parking Garage Attendant”. No wonder Maurice Clarett was so messed up.

When the Media Complains About the Media
Here is how this works: the sports media gets all caught up in something and shoves it down our throats for an extended period of time (examples: Terrell Owens, steroids in baseball, ect). Then after they have made everyone sick, they unleash a wave of stories/columns/features complaining about how sick they are of hearing about it, or how the story has become too overhyped! Guess what, morons – you’re the ones who control whether or not something becomes a big overblown story. So if you are so sick of it, then why did you shove it down our throats to begin with? It’s just absolutely ridiculous.

Baseball Apologists
Once upon a time, the game of baseball was America’s national pastime. It was a grand sport that brought people together no matter what else was going on in the country. Well, guess what – those days are LONG gone. Baseball is now a sport where many of the top players of the past two decades have been doped up on enhancers. Baseball is the only major sports league without any kind of salary cap, which means a team like the Yankees can radically outspend a small market team, ensuring that there will never be any kind of competitive balance. It is a complete joke and has been for years. But there are so many people out there (mostly in the media) who just can’t face reality. They still want the game of their childhood, so they make excuses like, “There are probably other sports with doping issues that we don’t know about yet,” or garbage like, “The Florida Marlins won the World Series so that proves that small market teams are on pretty much the same level as the big market teams.” The sooner these people realize that their beloved game is the laughingstock of American sports, the less annoyed we’ll all be.

WVU Fans
I realize that West Virginia is a backwards, inbred state, and trust me – I’m very sympathetic to that. But that doesn’t mean that their football fans have to act like complete morons and light things on fire every time they get excited about a game. When the Mountaineers make their bi-annual trip to Pittsburgh, I always laugh walking into Heinz Field as I listen to a bunch of hicks scream “Pitt is sh–”, or some other very creative chant. These idiots actually drive (drunk) all the way up from Morgantown to scream at us in our own stadium! Then they go back home and set their couches on fire. Unreal.

Honorable Mentions:

• Virginia Tech: Have you ever seen a college football program get as much credit for accomplishing absolutely nothing?
• Talk Shows Which Copy PTI: I’m so tired of everyone trying to copy the format of having two or more people debate a topic and failing so miserably. PTI does it so well; everyone else is second-rate.
• Sports Figures Who Blame Others for a Loss: This means you Mike Holmgren.